Happy new day!

How can you make this day a happy day for someone else?
That's much easier, and probably much more benefitial than looking for happiness.
I will try not to tell a few people my opinion, which would not make them happy.
And try to make someone a little bit happy too..

This day, a new year

I've been away over Christmas. Now it feels like a new year already. Full of energy in the same way. I should definitely do a bit of traveling more often.

This year I'm going to believe in my dreams, whatever they happen to be like. And not pay too much attention to what other people think. We all live parallel lives, don't we.

I like Christmas, but I think New Year usually feels sad. My new year started today.

Christmas, alone or not

Some of my friends are going to spend Christmas alone. Not together with a family. Maybe they don't have one, or maybe they live far away, or maybe they choose not to. I do hope they're not going to be completely on their own. That would be a bit sad. I'm thinking of you.

Some of my friends are going to spend Christmas feeling alone, while they are together with their partners and with their family. That's a bit sad too, but most of the time it's their own choice. I'm not thinking of you.

Some people expect all their family members to play their different roles and be exactly as they always have been. The same role play, the same behavior and maybe even some familiar arguments? It gives us the possibility to watch ourselves and our dearest and remember the occasion for the future, and all the different roles. What role do you play in your family?

I've got a family to celebrate Christmas together with. There are other times of celebration, when you're supposed to be among friends, that I sometimes spend alone. Guess nobody is thinking of me then except my family. I'm happy I've got them.

Parent's mistakes

I am not a perfect parent. I don't pretend I ever was. On the contrary, I now understand things I should have done differently, as well as what mistakes my parents did.

Now I also notice other parents around me and what mistakes they do. I would like to tell them, but I know they won't listen. But it's classical things. If you tell a child that he or she is stupid, lazy, too small, too big, annoying, careless, evil or whatever negative things the parents experience, the child will grow up believing that's true. True forever. Forever true.

In Sweden parents get certain education when they are expecting a baby, education on how to give birth and so forth. Lot's of parents are interested in the evolution of their children too. But how about their own evolution and development? When the children aren't babies any more, are they behaving like their own parents or are they in any sense wiser?

There is one particular case that makes me frustrated. How can I make the parents aware without telling them what I think? They would just be angry and not listen.

Looking for

Maybe I should add that I'm just an unemployed middle aged woman who is looking for a job (still). How depressing isn't that?

Then when I get a job, I know happiness can't be taken for granted anyway, only salary and hopefully some colleagues.

Happiness is a separate issue that I'm also looking for. Or maybe love is what I'm looking for...

Some days

Some days I just say to myself that I don't want to do this any more, not participate in this any longer, but it doesn't seem to be any good options than continuing.

We don't know what the future has got for us, do we? All we know is the good things we have we won't have forever.

When do guys grow up?

Some guys have to tell everybody if they have been to a bar, how drunk they were and how stupid they behaved. We can easily imagine how silly they were without knowing all the details.

It is usually the same guys who make rude comments about women, women's body parts or clothes as if they were talking to other guys only, but they also do it while women are listening.

I can't help seeing a little shy boy who probably looks upon himself as strict and boring, but he is trying to tell us that if just get some alcohol he is for sure much more fun. Guess this little boy also want to tell us that he is not a virgin any longer, but he has been around and knows things about women.

This behavior makes perfectly sense for small boys who are trying to impress small girls, but grown up women are more interested in grown up men.

I've been wanting to explain this to a single man for years, but I never do, because it would just be mean, wouldn't it?

Automatic filtering on age

Let's say that you had a mask you could put on when you went out. Let's say you had different masks to choose between. You would then be able to see how people would behave differently depending on your looks.

I now feel I have that possibility to make a certain change in my looks, and the difference I see in people's behavior is amazing! When people believe I'm in the same age and having the same style they talk to me, but if I perceived as not in their age, they're not even interested to exchange a few words in a queue. Are we really that obsessed with age in this country, or is it maybe the same everywhere?

This experience is definitely a proof that it's not me who has changed, but the way I'm treated depending on my looks when growing older.

I do expect that when I'm even older, I will be able to walk anywhere and no anything wearing anything I like and most people will not even see me. Invisibility gives a certain freedom!

Good to know...

The looks

It seems men benefit from good looks when applying for a job, while women don't, according to some investigation. Yet, we try to look as good as we can...

A female human resource rather pick a good looking man than a good looking woman for an interview. A man on the other hand hesitates to pick a female applicant submitting a too good looking picture but believes a good looking man is smart, according to the papers.

Personally I believe someone who looks very strange or is very fat have more difficulties to get a job.

But the question is if I should wear my best suit and put on make up when I go for an interview? I still think so.

Feature?

Someone told me I was brave today. You don't see brave people often, was the message. It was meant as a compliment. I'm not sure I am brave, I would never dare to make a bungy jump for instance. But I do dare to speak my mind, and I am not afraid to confront people if necessary, which is not common in Sweden.

That's the way I am. Not Swedish main stream, and not always appreciated.

Nothing here, please search elsewhere

I'm so sorry if you have ended up on my blog through some mysterious link.

This is just a place where I write whatever comes into my mind. No train of thoughts or red thread to be found. At times when I'm a bit lonely and depressed the blogs tend to become even more uninteresting. Haha.

To look like a horse with cancer?

I'm watching Sex and the City and trying to understand why "Carrie" is so self confident and charming. I honestly think her face looks like a horse and she body looks like as if she has been having cancer for years. What does it tell us about the role model for women's bodies?

Her eyes are very beautiful at least when she wears makeup. Several people have complimented me for my eyes. Must try her way of wearing make up. I'm not longing to look as if I've got cancer because then I'm sure I'll get it. It must be possible to have some self confidence anyway. Somehow.

A celebration to the enlightenment

In Sweden we learn the European history, the darkness of middle age, as well as the times of enlightenment at school. The thoughts and the philosophy before the French revolution is very well known to most student, as well as how the ideas of equality and democracy came about in different countries etc.

I am not sure all students in the rest of the world is studying the European history as we do. In some countries I'm sure they study the history of their royal emperors, in other countries the history of their presidents.

The 10the of December the Nobel prize is handed out by the Swedish king. Listening to speeches and discussions around the subjects of the prices these days always feels enlightening, and is really in the tradition of the historic enlightening.

I believe the Nobel prize is encouraging young people to study, especially science. I believe it is a celebration to the success of science and evolution when people are allowed to question things. If you don't question the "state of the art" there is no evolution...

blog hello world instead of mail

"Pling" means I've got a new mail? No. It just means something has landed in my inbox. Most of the time some business or technical news. Too much of it. Not really that interesting. Not any longer.

Almost all the mails I get are automatically generated. Not especially intended for me. Most days I don't get any personal mails. It doesn't feel personal even if my name is included in the automatically generated mails.

I write this blog so I won't bother people with mails. So they don't need to feel guilty if they don't have the time or feel like answering.

Most people who are busy working receive too many mails. They think mails is a burden. I don't.

Sometimes, this feels like one of the first lines of software that you write: "Hello World!"

Wrong season again

Allergy in the winter. That's unfair. Allergy is something you have in the spring and maybe in the summer. Maybe at Christmas time, but not now.

No need to visit the doctor. He will just tell me it looks like allergy. Yes, I know.

He would ask if I've eaten something. Yes I have. Food.

New soap, new shampoo, new washing powder? Nope, don't think so.

Guess I'll just take another pill and pretend spring is here already.

As far as I remember this mysterious allergy happens every year. But this year I don't even have any Christmas flowers, just in case!

Tomorrow I will not eat anything to see what happens, but I already know what will happen.

I'll get hungry.

Inspired, even if the source is questionable

After having seen Woody Allen's latest movie, I can't admit I'm reading my horoscope can I?

Anyway, my horoscope tells me I'm going to start something big today. Let's say I will start something big one day, why not initiate it today?

Never mind, I just happen to sign up for things today. And think about possibilities...

You never know.

What are you looking for?

Are you looking for attraction and a flirt?

Are you looking for sharing thoughts and a soul mate?

Are you looking for someone to help and getting a loyal friend?

Are you looking for information or new ideas to get informed and inspired?

Are you looking for someone to fool and smile at?

Are you looking for weakness in order to feel superior?

Flirting is always nice, sharing thoughts are wonderful, getting help is marvelous, sharing information and ideas is satisfying. I don't mind being a little fool, but if you're looking for weakness you've come to the wrong place.

My best advice for success

Dear reader, you're very welcome to this blog.

My best learning from life is, don't do as your mother taught you. If she was raising you as I was raised to always tell the truth. Forget it, if you haven't already done that. It's a lousy advice from our dear mothers. They just wanted us to tell the truth to make their live easier. If you are a bit like me, you think it's easier to remember the truth, and not mess up with lies and different versions of truth adapted to different people. Truth is simpler, but trust me, it is devastating.

I don't tell everybody everything and always the whole truth, but that's not enough. I have to start adapting my story even more. It is so simple, just tell people what they want to hear. Don't make it complicated.

So my device from now on, will be to try my best to say what people want to hear. Always. That's how to be a winner.

Hope you have a nice day. Take care of yourself, whoever you are.

Don't know if this one is cheering up..

But I think this is a good one.

What passion?

I've learned that passion is important. One should be passionate about work in order to succeed.
Therefor one should find something to be passionate about.

People describe me as engaged. Isn't that almost the same thing, just a bit more civilized?

I am not passionate about anything just now. Not even Christmas. I usually love Christmas carols.

Un-passionate, im-passionate, non-passionate or de-passionate, that's the question....

Laughing at yourself or at others

There was a popular Swedish comedy series called Solsidan, I think it was last year on Swedish television, about a couple of families living in a wealthy middle class environment outside Stockholm, and their struggles with all kinds of superfluous things, their goal to fit perfectly into the community and to look good (or rather "look best").

I believe many people could identify either themselves or someone they know, at least if you have been living in a residential district close to Stockholm . What surprises me is what kind of people who loves the series the most. It seems to be very popular among the most pretentious and superfluous people! I feel like saying "hey, we are laughing at you". "If you realize that you are pretentious and superfluous, why don't you do something about it?"

Maybe we were laughing at different things.

Anyway, I learned what every comedian already must know. It is when people identify themselves they laugh the most.

Mum's logic

As a mum I have given birth, I have fed, I have raised and I do love.

Right and wrong is completely different when it comes to mothers. If you hurt your mother you are wrong, even if the facts show something else.

Hurting a mum is per definition wrong.

No worries, but I miss the big group

I'm perfectly fine. Today things seems much brighter. Now I have to rewrite a blog again. It is so easy to be misunderstood.

If there are lots of people at your workplace that you know, who say "hi" in the morning, people who you chat with at the coffee machine, you're less likely to feel depressed.

If you work at a small workplace or alone and you happened to wake up feeling down, you're less likely to be cheered up. At least according to my experience.

If you meet very few people during the day and therefor have few interactions with other people, it puts much more responsibility on the people you meet.

It is obviously a basic need to be part of a group. If we look back on when people were living in a much more primitive environment, I'm sure that there were at least two situations that made people depressed and that still do affect us in the same way.

To be separated from people in your group, was probably very serious and it probably meant you would die unless you managed to find them again. Another serious scenario was probably if you were abandoned by the group, if you were frozen out, you were probably equally predestinated to die, unless you found and were accepted by another community.

So I don't care what people say. I'm sure it is natural to be down, when not having enough interactions with others. I'm very happy I have a teenager who is full of life living with me.

Completely pointfree

The question is "what is the point"? It feels pointless. Or pointfree, trying to make it all sound more positive.

Single minded

If I'm at a party or elsewhere where there is an opportunity to meet new people, I've noticed that when I talk to a man, if his wife is around she will immediately join us, so after a minute I'm talking her instead. I find that interesting. Do they dare to let their men go to work?

Some women on the other hand usually point out that they are single within 30 seconds, when they meet new people. I think that behavior is very embarrassing. Doesn't it put some kind of pressure on the person they meet, to immediately declare if they are interested or not, or at least if they are available?

I think it's equally embarrassing when a man start talking about his wife and family the first minute of a conversation.

What is it about people? Is sex all they think about?

Stuck in a crossing

Next time anyone asks me what I do, maybe I should answer nurse, hairdresser or I take care of children. Something female with a low salary. Most of them live nice lives since they have married someone who earns more. Why did I struggle myself?

I remember when I was sitting in my parents bedroom and wondering about my future. I was studying in their bedroom because there were no other quite place during daytime and evenings. This time at least I've got my own apartment. I'm still wondering what to do.

I'm tired of explaining to people what my plans were, or what jobs I thought I could get.

Maybe I should rethink my strategy, or do I already do it too often?

People ask me what I really want to do, and expect answers like "save the world". I'm sorry to make them disappointed. If they want to save the world, why don't they? Why should I be more likely to save the world than they are?

Anyway I'm quite fed up with being stuck in this crossing now.

Nice voice..

Today I found out that my bank provides valuable advice over the phone on things like how to get a pension. A helpful man with a very nice voice spent quite a lot of time figuring out his best advice for me.

When he asked "are you married, divorced or single?" I felt like answering "I'm single, how about you?" but of course I didn't. Later I got a mail with an invitation to contact him for further advice over the phone.

Over the phone..? Sales people!

One more

Hope you didn't miss this one ...
Linnea has been my favorite since then.

Differently

What do they say? More of the same won't help, it won't do the trick.

So, what can I do differently to get a job, to live my dream, to get ...somewhere?

Everything, I guess.

OK. I'll do everything differently from now on.

Can't help including some different interpretations from Swedish Idol....

A failure - something to talk about

Have you noticed the stories in some weekly magazines about people who are injured, seriously handicapped or unlucky in some other way? They fill people's need to feel superior, to feel happy and lucky, compared to the unlucky ones. It seems I fill that need for some people now.

Some people start chatting with me just to find out what the status is, what are my financial situation, did I have any earnings this year?

Others call my mother to find out, where I'm heading for an interview or if I've got a job yet.

I remember when we were unlucky to have a disease in the family. People stopped me in the street just to ask about it. Not that they wanted to help, they just wanted details to have something to gossip about at their next dinner party. After a while I realized that all the gossip just made the situation worse for the family. Now I know who they are, so I recognize those kind of people.

I wonder, I'm writing a blog, isn't that enough information? Do they have to call my mother?

I'll show all these idiots. I'll come back and be successful. And then I'll know who are my friends and who are not.

Ambitious girls

Last time I got an employment was when I met a female manager who recognized herself in me. She recognized the ambitious girl in me, the little smart girl she also used to be. We were the ones who always made our homework, and who got good results at exams. We took school seriously.

Why were we so ambitious? We didn't get any more love by being ambitious. Did we even get respect? I remember being accused of being overly ambitious, as I enjoyed also learning the stuff my bigger sister was learning.

The guys who didn't take school too seriously, and just played, maybe because they were a bit childish, some of them are really successful now. I believe they recognize and remember us from school. Also those who are performing interviews. I can't hide that I was an ambitious little girl. I just need to mention that I studied science. I bet they see an annoying smart girl in front of them, a girl who has grown old.

I'm very happy some small girls got some love and respect and continued to be ambitious all their lives. I hope they become successful, because they deserve it.

Spreading love in the morning?

I used to have this as my wakeup melody years ago.



After some time everybody hated it.

Somewhere..

No more complaints. Here is one of my old favorites performed in a different way.

Swedish dads staying home with their babies...

How Swedish dads are taking care of their small babies is shown to the world as a good example. Well, of course it's important for dads to have a close relation to their kids and everything concerning babies doesn't necessarily have to be the responsibility of mums. Of course dads should change diapers and give food and look after their kids. That's natural, at least in Sweden. That's part of being a parent.

But...
I believe the roles are slightly different and there is no need for two people to be exactly identical. If the dad take care of everything, what do they need the mum for then? Only to give the man a possibility to reproduce himself?

One can ask why so many Swedish couples are divorcing? Isn't there a risk that there aren't families any longer, just two parents working parallell and in turns?

The arguments used for dads to stay home and take care of their babies is that it makes them sexy. That's not necessarily true...

A few quotes for singles

"For all the shit we go through when it comes to dating, relationships and all that nonsense --
when it does work, it is so nice, so good and so wonderful, that it makes all the crap you have to go through to get there, worth it!"

said by a friend of mine


"Have enough courage

to trust love

one more time

and always

one more time."

by Maya Angelou

How long is a generation?

I always thought a generation was the difference in years between parents and children. And also a group of people being born in the same timeframe. What is a timeframe in this context? Is it the normal age difference between children and parents, or is everyone born in the same decade or what? Am I in the same generation as everybody having children in the same age as I have?

When someone older is refering to "your generation", it is a way of pointing out that I'm younger. On the other hand if someone younger is doing the same, it is a way of pointing out that I'm significantly older.

It makes me feel old. Me and my generation.

Frustration

Today I'm more determined and angry than usual.

At the large company most initiatives were rejected, argumentation were considered awkward and escalation, to bring things higher up in the organization were always punished. Now I'm not in the large company any longer, so I don't give a shit.

I've realized that being eager, determined and to argue seems to be appreciated in the outside world especially by entrepreneurs. I will do more of that. Now I'm testing how escalation is viewed upon. What do I have to loose?

I'm not yet standing up and screaming yet, but soon...

On course

What did I say, of course I'm learning new things... I'm taking a course right now.

Too impatient to learn?

Someone explained I'm learning all the time" to me today. I like that attitude. I had a similar attitude when I was young. I collected experiences, as if I was filling up a backpack with "good to have" experiences. For the future

I'm still learning and collecting experiences, but I am not as patient any longer. Maybe because the future isn't endless any longer.

It's like money. I collected money when I was young. At at certain point I thought "why should I save now, when I'm in the middle of living?". Later I realized I had to start saving again.

It's not as fun to save and to learn then when the time is passing and the future is shrinking, is it?
I have to stop being impatient.

A questionable activity - to blog

I must stop with stupid habit of blogging. I don't have any readers, ie to read this blog doesn't give readers anything, apart from some of my thoughts. Some time in the future I might regret sharing too much of my private life. It also takes valuable time.

But I like writing... and to get things off my mind.

Late revenge

I've just learnt a nasty way for surviving relatives to revenge themselves. The tradition when someone dies is to put an obituary notice into the paper with a cross and name, date, family etc.

What people do nowadays when they don't consider themselves to be christian is to use some other symbol in the ad, something they believe was important to the dead person, for instance a sunset or a sailing boat.

The latest thing I saw was an ad where the survivors use a symbol that shows what they think about the dead person, as some sort of late revenge. Isn't that the lowest of revenges....?

Swedish Idol so far

Don't know who is reading this blog. Anyway, for friends living abroad, here are a few of the participants in Swedish Idol 2010. Isn't it amazing how this little country has got so many talents? Here is just a few of them.















My obvious comments: Linnea dares to be different, Andreas has the best voice, Jay is the rockiest one, Olle is the troubadour and my guess is that Minnah is popular among the guys.

"we want people with flow"

"We want employees with luck" said the manager and threw away a large pile of applications. That's a classical story.

The other day I heard a new one in real life "we want people with flow, not people who are struggeling".

Oh... I see. Guess they don't want a single mother without a job then....

If you have flow you are having luck, living with ease.

What should I do? Should I pretend to have flow? Redefine flow as freedom and a lot of opportunities?

Maybe I shouldn't work for a company who is looking for people with flow?

Free advice is no advice, at least not for me

I'm never going to see another advisor. They keep calling and offering their services for free. Haven't I heard "there are no free lunches"?

They promise to give valuable advice on pension, insurance and how to improve the financial situation in general, by advising on funds etc. I bring all kinds of information as printouts. What do I get? Just mumbo jumbo.

They just want me to sign paper and become their customer. Then they offer themselves to search in databases to come up with the same information I already have on my papers and then call for another meeting when they're going to give me some really good advice. Why should I sign a paper and let someone become my advisor if I don't get any advice at my first visit?

Guess I'm not a valuable customer. I also remember the comment: You won't find a perfect insurance, just as you won't find a perfect husband or a perfect car. Is that something to say to a potential customer who you know is a single mother with an old car? Yes, if you want her to get out of your office quickly....

Interviewing a dog

What they want to know in job interviews is not who I am but how I am.
Some interviewers play games to see how I react. Even if I know it's a game, I'm no actress and therefor I'm myself.
Probably dogs know it's a game, but they don't hesitate but run after things that's being thrown.
How smart are dogs?
I still hope they want me, even if I'm like a dog.

Not zero

As long as the possibility isn't zero there is a chance. Or a risk.
That's what life is all about isn't it? Sometimes things happen.
Some day...

Arbitrary new

Taking a walk on arbitrary streets, and found some new streets to walk. Listening to arbitrary music on youtube, and happened to like some I found. Reading arbitrary pages in a new book written by a writer I don't know, and it's interesting.
Should I call up an arbitrary person on my phonebook and talk about arbitrary things? Or just go on with the laundry...?

Tradition to evaluate Idol

Mr Mini Weisse is a great singer, he looks good, but why does his eyes look so empty? What has happened to him in his life? If he just could get rid of that attitude he would be great. He is young but he reminds me of singers as they were when I was a kid.

Geir. What is he doing there? He is just trying to improve his existing career! I don't understand why people vote for a Norwegian professional B-singer, just because he is unknown in Sweden? He only picks safe bets that he knows that our generation likes. I'm sure he is nice and like a parent to the others, but I don't care. I puke! And I didn't want to see him with his young wife in the bath, please!!!

Minnah. She is a bit Svensson-like, but I guess she can't help it. She performs OK. The Beatles song she did was great. She started as a blond, why did they have to dye her hair reddish? Blond was more her style.

Jay. He is some kind of working class hero with a great rock voice. Personally I doubt the life of a musician will fit him.

Linnea. She is so cool! She was cool from start. I like her style and I always like her choice of music. Don't like the way they made her hair look and some of her clothes, but today she looked fine. Nina Simone in Idol....

Elin. She is a little star with potential. She isn't there yet, because she doesn't always feel 100% present. But I don't know what she did with the song "Forever young" tonight, but it made me all shudder (I usually write shiver, but it should be shudder, when the hair raises due to music, shouldn't it?). She was the only one who made that happen.

Olle. It is hard not to like him. He seems to be such a humble and genuine person. Guess the record companies will love him since you can hear that he is the one who is singing. I've understood that's important, otherwise people don't know which CD to buy (do people buy CDs btw?)

Get rid of Geir.

When and why did Sweden change perspective?

First I find a good reason to state my opinion, then I find a very good reason not to do it. This might not be the right forum.

Expectations

Maybe I should remove the blog about the coldness in Stockholm.
It all depends on how you look upon the world.
A young member of the family tells me to stop expecting things from other people! Expect nothing...and be surprised.
I'll start expecting things from myself instead. A lot.

Yes Stockholm is cold

Standing outside my home by my car with the hood open. A man living across the street starts his car and passes me. A woman does the same thing. Where would that happen except in Stockholm? It takes 5 minutes to help someone with an empty battery to get started. To just ask what the problem is takes no time.

I don't have a job. People trying to help me are with few exceptions not born in Sweden. I come from Stockholm. I know hundreds of people, not close friends but acquaintances. One old friend I've known for almost 30 years has given me some invaluable help. Otherwise, it is clear to me that when I ask friends with a non Swedish background for help they do all they can to assist, while most Swedes expect me to get all the help I need from the society.

Once at work I got sick and needed medical care. I called an ambulance since none of my colleagues offered themselves to drive me to the hospital and I didn't have time to find some friend. Afterwards they felt very stupid and showed that they cared, but when I explained the situation nobody offered to help.

Many years ago when I was traveling on public transportation with a pram I usually managed myself but sometime I needed a hand from someone. I noted that men from other countries were most eager to help, next came Swedish women. Swedish men were the least helpful. Being pregnant you sometimes need to sit down on the bus. It didn't happen often, but when it did, I only remember a woman who realized the situation. I could have fainted before anyone noticed.

I don't think it is a general Swedish phenomenon not to help each other. Once when I had a car accident in northern Sweden completely strangers helped me out. They did much more than anyone could have expected.

I've also seen that people coming from southern part of Stockholm are more eager to assist than in the rest of Stockholm. So if you're planning to get into trouble on the street, make sure you have neighbors from other countries and live in southern part of Stockholm!

I do hope I'm not like the rest....

Racism from my point of view

In order to understand the feeling of being target for racism I have to use my own limited experiences.

Ages ago I was studying abroad. The Swedes in the town were supposed to have a Midsummer party but since it was raining someone came up with the idea of having a party in a kitchen instead. It happened to be in my kitchin in my student corridor, where a few other Swedes also were living. Of course I was participating in the party.

When I woke up the next day, someone had written "OUT SWEDES" on the kitchen wall. Even though my non-Swedish friends in the corridor were trying to remove the message, and they didn't think I should take it personal, it felt terrible. An anonomous person who obviously had been disturbed didn't bother to find out who was responsible and speak his mind, but seemed to hate everyone of my nationality.

Nobody was burning down the house...



Many years later I was on a business trip on another continent and had some time to stroll around in a forreign city. During those hours in that crowded busy city I only came across two other persons who looked European. I didn't think much about looks until I saw them. I realized how awful if would have been if the citizens had hated people with a European look. Since I was standing out from the crowd it would have been very easy to harass me. That wasn't the case, but it made me think about racism and how terrible unfair it is, since you can't help the way you look and where your ancestors come from.

Have you thought about racism from that point of view?

Money focus make me wonder

Some people like to make beautiful things, some like to solve problems and others prefers helping people. Some people want to be important and others like to make money.

I'm starting to believe that money is the driver for successful entrepreneurs. Many people prefer that someone else is making customers open their wallets.

Today I asked myself, when listining to someone describing the joy of being successful and making money, what if the money would mean taking a standpoint in an ethical question, would they still only focus on the money? How far would they go?
How far would you go?

Thanks for cheering me up, Robbie

This song makes me remember a vacation trip when the kids got a cold with fever one after another. I had to stay with a disappointed sick kid in the hotel room. All I could do was to take some short walks when they took a nap.

I realized that this song is great for walking uphills! Thanks Robbie for cheering me up at that particular time and other times too.

To defend a politician can be tricky

In order to defend a politician who had been influenced by enterprises in a questionable way, a leader in a morning paper brought up another politician who might have been influenced by the opinion of some voters! Seriously?

Even small girls change when they grow up

Some days, like today, I wonder what happened to that shy little girl who spent too many years listening to others. And where did that woman come from who can't stop herself from blogging, writing e-mails or talking especially in a group of people listening to someone lecturing for hours about interesting things but maybe not that complicated...

No safe track

Now people start giving me the advice to take a safe track. "Why don't you become a teacher?", they say. I'm trying to remember other occasions when I received similar type of advices, don't take any risk, don't buy too large, go for a safe job etc, and how I usually regretted having "played safe".

I have no desire whatsoever to become a teacher. I believe there are already too many uninterested teachers in the world, who rather would have liked to do something else. They stay at their jobs in school and maybe spoil some of the fun for the pupils. I have no plans to become one of them.

However, I need to focus on the right things, in order to become successful in "not following the safe track".

Writing here is typically not one of them... but I do it anyway.

The secret of selling

I have seen professional sales people in action. A successful sales person doesn't reveal to the customer what the purpose is, to sell. On the contrary, the goal should be something else, like give information and help the customer in some way. The goods could almost be shown by accident before the sales person leaves. The goods should of course be perceived as very attractive and almost impossible to get.

A good sales person typically doesn't shows off and brag, but makes people feel comfortable. The customers should typically be a little bit flattered, but not too much so the purpose of selling becomes obvious. The customer should appreciate and trust the sales person. That's very important!

The best sales argument is of course customers who have been fortunate to have the sales person helping them with their problems and made them even more successful.

The best sales people get customers to come running after them and to beg for the goods and the services they offer!

Maybe I need to learn how to sell in order to get some income. It's going to become tough, because I usually tell people my opinion and what I think they should do. Guess I need to practice.

Let's see. I mainly wanted to explain this to myself, and I'm sure that you as an experiences and intelligent reader already are well aware of how to sell. There is no need to share my humble opinion. Good luck with your sales, friends, I'm sure you're doing fine.

explanation on recent blogging

Why was I so sad during the week? What was the drama about?
I was just suspecting that a person let me down, when it came to supporting me on a job opportunity. First of all, I am not sure what really happened. Jumping to conclusions is something I do. Sometimes I'm right, but I need to remember that I'm not always spot on. Maybe I wasn't right, maybe it wasn't an opportunity for me.

I'm really happy for the people who do support me these days with good advice and inspiration.

Thanks for being there! Let's hope I can be there for you too...

Chopin as a private time machine

Music is like a time machine. This song makes me remember what thoughts and feelings I had during the period of time when I played it many years ago. It is one of my Chopin favorites.

More sadness

More Peter Cincotti. A very sad story as from the text. "Peter wrote this song for his dad. At the age of 13, he played in a New York club and between sets his father died of a heart attack on the doorstep of the club... "
Compared to him I'm not at all sad because I don't have any such reason to be sad.



I heard him live once and he made an impression...

Backup plan?

The number of people I can count on is decreasing.
Emigrate to the moon, maybe?

Who am I?

Am I the little child who come from a certain family
Am I the teenager and the young girl
Am I the student and the young woman
Am I the mother and the white collar worker

Am I everything that has happened to me?
No, I am the little child, who played different roles
and survived those things that happened to me

My plans? To grow older but not pretend I'm not the little child.
To play the role of a grown up woman and a mother I suppose
Otherwise I'm curious.
How about you?

Take a chance

Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try
Take a chance on me



(quote from ABBAs song)

Kind of empty song

It's not because of the dance I include this video on my blog. I'm not sure I fully understand the lyrics. But there is something about having everything and yet asking yourself "what is this and how did I get here?" that gets to me. It gives me such an empty feeling. The same feeling I get when people talk as if only status matters.

Horoscopes, oh no

I am into science. I am the one who always question things and want to see sources and evidence. I think astrology is just superstition. Horoscopes are for ignorant people who are easy to fool.

Then can anyone explain why I read my horoscope? And why I pay attention to it?

- Because I feel helped by it. It makes me think. There are often coincidences.

Could I replace the horoscope I get via mail with a book with wise words, one for each day?

- Nope.

The conclusion must be that I'm superstitious, ignorant and easy to fool. I hate to write that.

But at least I'm aware of it.

East and west are different!

The cultures in the East and the West are much more different than we can imagine. I have some personal experience from the cultural differences from when I was working in a global company.

At one time I was working with a group of people in the large country in the West. I had the task to advice them in a delicate matter. I went there, I listened to their plans, and I told them to change direction and the reasons for it.

After some tough argumentation, they listened to me and my colleague, who was helping me with arguments. The responsible manager was open for our arguments and finally changed the direction. He was very grateful to us for revealing information, for giving advice and "telling the truth", even if the change was somewhat awkward for them. I was treated like a hero, who stood up and argumented for what I believed was the right thing to do.

Another time I was working with the large country in the East. In this case I had certain responsibility to review things and participate in decisions. Here I found some serious issues and reasons to highlight that a change was needed. Here I was also participating in some tough argumentation, but this time I was alone, since my colleague here did not dare to back me up. However I felt the people on the floor were supporting me for highlighting important things and they were impressed that I dared to bring up unpleasant facts; to tell "the truth".

When the argumentation in the West had been open and focusing on the issue, the argumentation in East was initially also dealing the real issues, but the difference in culture was revealed when it became a management issue. When the management in West was interested in taking the right decision, the management in East was only interested to look good in front of the headquarters. When they didn't succeed to persuade me to agree and be as loyal to them as my colleague already was, they used all possible provocations to make me feel uncomfortable and try to get me out of balance. They were even posing threats at me.

Since I didn't give away, they later managed to destroy my career with in the company. I guess the management made sure at least nobody in their organization would ever dare to "tell the truth", and make them look bad again.

My learning from all this is "you can't change anything in the East if people loose their face". What looks like exactly the right thing to do in the West, isn't necessary the right thing to do in the East!

I guess they don't have the same experience in Norway.

Seeking advice and taking decisions

I usually ask people for advice. I want to know other peoples opinions. I who always have an opinion about everything, usually want to make sure I have understood several different viewpoints before taking decisions.

When I look back on the decisions in my life, it is with mixed feelings. I can clearly see that sometimes I've been following a strong feeling, sometimes I've been influenced by someone's opinion and other things have just been coincidences.

To follow a strong feeling can't be wrong, can it? Of course it can, but a strong feeling is at least true and genuine, if you think you are aware of where it comes from or the reasons why you have it.

It annoys me when I afterwards realize that I've been maybe too much affected by other people's opinions in important decisions.

I also regret being shy and for having fear. Sometimes we don't do things because we have fear. That's always a bad excuse, isn't it?

When it comes to my career, I look back and think; "why didn't anyone give me advice?". Experience it something we seldom have when we are young.

The conclusion is that when it comes to personal matters one should always take complete own decisions, but when it comes to career, one should listen carefully to others. That's my general thumb of rule. And to never have fear, of course.

For us who are still around

These days I let my thoughts go back a year. Let us remember what we have got, all of us who are still alive.

It's a good idea to try to stay healthy but also try something new for a change and to have some fun while we can.

We just need to be there for the kids and the young ones. That is what matters.

Wonderful advice for job seekers on TV show

My mother was helpful and telling me about an ongoing warm up show on TV I should watch. The show told us how to prepare before a job interview between topics such as cooking, dog dieting, circus and interviews with a couple of artists. Job seekers have apparently become an interesting target group also for TV shows for women!

I learned that I need to put an effort on my hands and feet, and wear nice underwear in order to feel good at a job interview. It was very important to have beautiful hands. Good to know! I guess I had the completely wrong focus when I bought a new pair of boots to match my suit, but I should have spent money on manicure instead. The boots can at least be reused...

Sorry, but I think they are completely out in the bushes. A nice outfit is good to have, but it must be much better to study the company and be prepared with some questions, than to spend time on shopping and beauty.

Or maybe there is some truth in it after all? Maybe I need a new haircut, some beauty salon treatment and some new makeup... and I definitely need a new handbag. Shoes? Yes! And isn't my suit a bit old?

Maybe I should consider to take a trip abroad to get those things? The question is if I even have time to apply for jobs! Thanks for the job coaching, TV4, and for giving me the right priorities!

Does unemployment indicate wrong priorities?

Once in a while people arrive late for work. Few people look relaxed and say "today I decided to spend an extra hour in bed and it feels great". No, they usually make sure they have a good excuse talking about some car breakdown, commuting problem or accident.

I'm starting to believe it is a similar phenomenon when being unemployed. Why are all these recruiters so terrified to hire someone who has been unemployed for some time? Is unemployment seen as a proof for being lazy and not making a big enough effort?

You have been making an effort, but you can't say "I've been trying like hell and nobody wants to hire me". If nobody else wants to hire you, then they have obviously found something wrong with you....

You also can't say "it's been great and I've finally had time to find myself." Are they afraid you have found something else to be important in life apart from work? Are they afraid for getting people who have tasted the forbidden apple, to prioritize sleeping an extra hour in the morning?

Keep applying

I'm applying for jobs where they look for someone else. Then I try to look like someone else. Sometimes I find job ads where they look for me. Exactly for the skills I have and for someone with my experience. Let's see if I get called for an interview now or not. I had to fill in my date of birth, of course. They asked if I speak Russian. Eh, no...

A former colleague asked me if I had had any trial periods of employment. What? I've hardly even been to any interviews. People tell me my CV looks great, so the question is why.

To use old contacts? Some of them don't answer mails. I shouldn't take it personal but if we used to be good friends, I do take it personal. Guess they are busy. Quite a few friends have disappeared while others are supporting. Good to know which ones the few good ones are. I believe they think "if could have been me". The ones that have disappeared probably think they better stay away otherwise they might catch it, as if it was some sort of disease. Guess they knew the winning concept of having successful friends.

I need to try to do something that there is a demand for. So there will be many opportunities. Something where my age isn't a problem. I don't need much money. How hard can it be?

Now I'm lying. I've had some simple jobs long time ago that I didn't like much. I want to do things I'm good at. I want to have some challenges. I want to learn new things. I want to love my work. Guess I'm all spoiled. Maybe we all are.

Idol

Jihde is cool and Idol is magic. It's amazing how many talented young people there are in this small country. And they are good looking too (the difference is striking when watching the American Idol!)....

Learnings from my desert island

Sometimes, it feels like I already live on a desert island. I live on one with my little family. I occasionally meet people who are passing by on long cruisings.

It is a very instructive metaphor. I need to remember that the stones I've found on my beach on my island are completely uninteresting to friends traveling the world. A habitant on a desert island it is obvious that for me need to listen. Only to listen.

It becomes ludicrous when written by a person who is blogging, doesn't it?

On a desert island

When I meet someone that I don't get along with, I ask myself "how would it be if we were left alone together on a desert island?" I have got this vision, that any two people who would end up being isolated could work together. Don't know if it's true, of course. Probably many people would just start quarreling, fighting and try to live on separate parts of this piece of land, but I believe most people could work together if they really tried.

Anyway, since this question keep coming back into my mind, I now think I know what types of people I would not enjoy be left alone with on any empty island.

I would definitely hate to be dependent on one of those guys who maybe are a little bit stupid, but who believe they are really smart (and therefor don't think any input from anybody else, in that case me, is needed). At a first thought, it would feel safe to be in the company of a physically strong person, but I believe some brains and a bit of imagination would be more valuable in most situations.

I would appreciate to explore the place, and not find the best tree and then just sit under it all the time. Talking would I prefer before endless silence. Some new jokes would be nice, or at least a person who would enjoy my silly ones. But the most important and valuable gifts are probably kindness and helpfulness when there is some kind of trouble.

What I myself would be like on a deserted island? What do you think, probably hungry and thirsty... let's hope I never end up there in the first place.

Why people split up

By using my and some of my friends experiences of life, I've come up with the following theory why a relation ends. A relation is seriously at risk when one of the parties has met a new possible partner that is perceived as "much better" than the existing. That's it. The possible partner doesn't have to be a real option, but can still kill an ongoing relation provided there is a strong unfulfilled need. We all have needs, but if there is some important need that we don't get fulfilled for a long time in a relation, it is just be a matter of time before the relation is over.

Our needs tend to change somewhat over time as we grow older, which is probably one of the reasons why so many couples break up. Another reason why there are so many singles could be an increased selfishness and an inability to see other peoples' needs.

What do I know? I'm no expert...

Don't ask us to strip! We want to make a good impression when applying for a job!

"Please register at our homepage" they say, "under carrer".
Sure. The first thing I have to fill in is my personal identification number, which means the day I'm born. It feels like being invited to the building of a large company, but in the reception I'm asked to take off my clothes! Would you do that? I wouldn't.

I'm looking for a job where I use my brain, why is the age of my body interesting? The recruiters first impression will be "oh, that woman is 15 years older than me", or "she could be one of my mother's friends". My age is interesting in many situations, but not when I apply for a job.

The first thing to do in order to stop the age discrimination in Sweden, is to stop asking for our exact age. Please don't ask us to strip, that's humiliating!

Would have appreciated a professional analysis of the show

The interviews with the heads of the political parties in the satiric TV-show was obviously directed. Some of them were spontanious and some of them had instructions what to say. All to make some of them look stupid and to let others give a good impression. I would have loved to see the show together with an expert on marketing and human perception, in order to get a professional analysis on how it influences people.

If Swedish TV would have sent the show after the election I would have appreciated it. Some of the actors are very funny (not all of them, though). But not the weeks before the election. Not on public television. Aren't Swedes terrible innocent?

I didn't think I cared much about politics these days. But I became angry when I realized that the purpose of the show was to influence the election. And that people don't see that... and they get away with it. Corruption!

censured

Today I've written a million blogs in my head. None of them were happy.

Most of them were miserable. You should be happy you don't need to read them.

Don't trust the job ads

Don't trust the job ads! It's like asking an eighteen year old guy what girl he wants. He would be dreaming, and then he would probably end up with a completely different girlfriend.

I got some feedback on my job interview the other day. The interview for the job where they actually were asking for someone with my background. It seems they had changed their expectations and were now looking for someone with a completely different profile.

Interesting, isn't it? The conclusion must be that you can send your application to any company for on any job ad. They don't know how they are looking for anyway. Or maybe they know who they are not looking for. I don't know.

Why is my age relevant when I apply for a job?

I was to an interview recently. I got a comment on my papers, since I had included everything but when I'm born. That seemed to be strange or even annoying.

When I got the question, of course I specified my date of birth. Don't know why that was important. It is obvious that I'm not young since I've got teenaged children. It's also obvious for anyone who meets me that I'm not planning to retire for many years. So why is my age important? I find that intrusive.

It is well known that a Swedish employer can ask about health problems, they can ask about private things like hobbies (who cares how I spend my spare time?), how many children I have living at home, they can actually ask about anything about religion and sexual preferences, according to the current law.

My proposal is that it should be forbidden to specify the age of the people you want to hire, it should be forbidden to only hire a certain sex. Politicians should stop talking about making certain rules for "unemployed youth", or "unemployed foreigners", or "unemployed housewifes" or whatever. Start treating everybody the same! Make the hiring process anonymous. Look at other countries such as Britain and the US and their laws.

Stop this Swedish very unprofessional way of interviewing, selecting and hiring people.

The Swedish election is not very exciting this year

It is not going to be very exciting to watch the results of the election this year. I think it is good for a country to have a vital discussion about many important questions and not just a choice between "left or right", as it is this year due to the two big political blocks.

I did watch Mona Sahlin, head of the socialdemocrats, being interviewed on TV the other day.

She stated that this election is between people who wants to have lower taxes, contra people who wants to have welfare. It seems she prefers to keep it very simple. Interesting strategy, and an interesting question to focus on. Everybody who has got a job and an income wants to have lower taxes and "welfare" is very fluffy! Did she expect it to be enough longterm sick, retired, unemployed people to catch a majority of the Swedish people? She must completely lack gut feeling (or strategic advisors)...

I'm fed up with facebook

Now I know. I know what habits some of my facebook friends has. I know how often they have barbecue with friends, or do some other social activities. I know how often some of them are out running, and how fast they run. I know at what hotels some of them stay when they go on business trips and what restaurants they visit. I know how they spend their summer vacation and where their relatives live. I know that some of them do all the "small children activities" as I did with my children when they were younger. I know that some people need to write everything they do. I don't know why they need to expose more or less intimate details about their lives to hundreds of people. I know that many people are voyeurs, and pretend they aren't facebook users and share nothing, but yet they read everything everybody else writes. They keep themselves updated on the latest, as some sort of gossip.

Now I know that most of those people live their lives in exactly the same way day after day, week after week. They keep repeating themselves, at least when it comes to sharing with others. Some people try to look good, some try to look snobby, some try to look cultural, some try to look updated, some try to look loving, some try to look funny and witty. Very few are funny.

Some people like to share their insights with half a thousand, but they hate to get any objections. I would recommend writing a blog instead. Nobody needs to read. Nobody will complain that you write too much. The status line can be as long as you like. You don't fill up anyones gossip-overview-page. You know it's open for anyone to read so there are no surprises. The reason why people write on facebook is the same as writing a blog. We want to be seen. If nobody can see or hear me, do I exist?

Why should I log in and read about other people's more or less boring routines? I'd better live my own life.

Stop smiling! People don't trust a smiling woman.

I remember attending a presentation course with a colleague of mine. We were supposed to give each other feedback and I was sitting and watching my colleague present, when I suddenly knew what was wrong with her. Why I didn't believe a word she said, why she gave me a feeling of not being sure, why she looked awkward. She was smiling!

I told her to try not to smile and lean her head when talking. I'm pretty sure she thought my comment was intrusive, but she improved her performance a lot when she stopped smiling all the time. Suddenly one could trust her...

Now I'm watching the woman who is trying to become Sweden's first female statsminister on TV. I bet she won't ever become a minister, because people hate her. I don't know why people hate her, but I know why I instinctively don't like her. When she answers a question she smiles. It looks like a mean smile to me. She looks like "you just made my day by asking a question to which I have prepared a really good answer". If she looks like that, it doesn't matter what she is saying.

Smiling is not always such a good thing, and in the wrong context it can be absolutely devastating!

Elections time brings disrespect

Election time. Now it is revealed how journalists and politicians look upon us. It is not flattering! It is obvious that they just want us to feel. We shouldn't make any intelligent reasoning, we should just feel.

The journalism has now reached the level of three year olds in a sand box. One morning a Swedish morning paper that has "trustworthy" in their slogan (Svd) was showing how one party's symbol, a stylistic flower could become different stupid animals. It was the leader. Couldn't he come up with something else? Like a meaningful reasoning based on facts? Normally they make fun of some politician. I don't appreciate to read such things. Does everybody else? If they make fun of someone and it's not on the comic pages, I am pretty sure I cannot trust that paper at all.

The Swedish union for workers is also participating in the election campaign. On one of their posters there is a photo of prime minister face turned upside down. The comment is as follows "today a chamber maid who is payed by hour is paying 450 SEK per month in fee to her union, while many people with a high income only has to pay 90 SEK. That is mega wrong".

I don't think the chamber maid wants her union fee to be spent on election campaigns. And I don't see how that is the responsibility of the prime minister! When it comes to political parties, we can choose which one we should vote for, but many people cannot choose to be a member of any other union. Isn't that unfair?

And as a young member of the family said: those posters with people upside down make me puke! Please respect each other, and please respect the voters!

The one who is polishing the surface...

It strikes me that the one who is polishing the surface the most is not really happy with the content.

It seems the one who pretends to be the most snobby is trying to cover up what he doesn't like about his family and where he comes from.

I suspect that the one that looks the most generous really have some problems with jealousy and so forth.

These things are not new, they are just hard to remember and sometimes difficult to understand...

Maybe we are as small children who are focusing on things they aren't really good at? When they don't know how to climb they will practice until can, and when they don't know how to walk they will keep trying ...

Maybe we all are overdoing things until we are on top of them...?

From darkness to unexpected dawn

Life is surprising. Today I must admit I wasn't in a good mood. Everything felt kind of hopeless. I was on my way home, but I had just started walking when I found a sunny street with a little restaurant having empty outdoor seats. I sat down and for some reason I didn't follow the normal Swedish rule of pretending others don't exist, but I started talking to the woman sitting next to me. After a while it turned out that she had some own experiences from working in my field and she even gave me some names of companies to contact! The woman was a coach! She told me I just had to go on trying, not because the contacts I work on now necessarily will give me a job, but the trying would work me in the right direction and increase my chances of getting something from an unexpected source. Wasn't that exactly what I needed to hear? I walked away and enjoyed the afternoon.

When I arrived home I found that one of my old contacts had given me an official recommendation! I had also received a personal answer from an employer I had been chasing last week. It all made me feel much better.

What's the saying?

It's darkest before dawn...

New ideas on how to get a job?

I've been rehearsing for almost a year now. Rehearsing for getting a job.

Occasionally I find one I really want. Then what do I do? I call the contact person about ten times, leave about three messages, send a personal mail and then finally fill in the proper form of application.

I check linkedin and find connections. Then the question is, will those connections help me or stop me? Maybe the connections hate me or want the job for themselves. You never know.

Then I'm supposed to wait for an answer. It never comes. I need some new ideas. Next time I'll maybe drive up to their office if it's in town and present myself. What can I do, without becoming a stalker..? Infiltrate their family or their group of best friends? Send messages with personal advertising or design small pop-up windows that comes up when they log in on their computers? I guess not.

At one company I got some business cards. Should I call up the VP and ask why the hell they don't hire me? Well, if they don't want me, why should I bother? I could start a competing company, hire all my friends and get them out of business...? That would be a surprise!

I've been listening to Steven Wright's old jokes. He makes me feel like I'm a little crazy too..

I sure need some new ideas, crazy or not, because the traditional ones don't seem to work.

Memorizing facts, being creative or truly understand?

When I was a kid, my dad knew everything. Everything about politics, history and geography.

At school things should be modern; we worked in groups, we made a play instead of memorizing history details, we used creativity instead of giving traditional presentations. Knowledge was considered old fashioned. Creativity was king.

Today knowledge isn't unfashionable any longer, but what is emphasized in my kids schools is the understanding and their own reflections on the facts. What conclusions can they draw, what similarities have their seen and what are their own ideas?

I'm sure my kids will be able to explain things much better than I can, not only because they learn more, they learn things deeper and get a better understanding. Now I'm not talking about science, but rather on history, religion and politics. Credit to some young enthusiastic teachers!

An honest fool

Why was I raised to become such an honest fool who tells the truth? For instance regarding my current situation as almost unemployed.

I applied for this job. A man from the company called me up since he found my CV interesting. Hurray!!! Then I point out to him that I am eager to start as soon as possible, because I don't have anything to do, since I had to leave the company I used to work for. Silence. No, he had not understood that I was one of those who had to leave the company. Shit. Why did I need to tell him the truth, when he wasn't even asking for it?

They believe the best ones already have a job. They don't expect a brilliant person to become redundant after many years in the same company. Companies usually want to keep their best employees, and not pay a fortune to get rid of them. I'm fully aware of that and I completely understand it.

I should stop being such an honest Swedish fool who tells the truth...

Business cards and virtual contacts

Either I drop business cards, since they just disappear when I need them, or I save them in a large bundle for ever and forget from whom I got them. Once I had a binder where I was supposed to stick in all business cards and write down the context. A terrific idea which I had copied from a smart business man many years ago. I always saved my binder but it wasn't used much...

Business cards seem old fashioned today. There has always been this feature called address-book on all devices, like mobile phones. It used to be annoying because it never had the same format on different devices and I never understood how I could stop my contacts from becoming duplicated when I synchronized the phone with my PC. Sometimes a contact turned up with only an e-mail address. Not very useful to have on the phone when I didn't use the e-mail client on it.

Nowadays I've got a Mac and an iphone, so I'm just now starting to use the contacts in a serious manner. Guess, I can never switch back to the PC world now. Or I'll end up printing the contacts and saving them in my binder..

Don't know what it tells you about me, but I don't like to remove people from my address book. As a matter of fact, I've even got some dead persons in there. Every time I come across one of my dead contacts I send them a thought. At least you're still in my phone, I think, even if you don't exist in real life any longer.

You don't believe in me? Thanks!

I like statements like: "You can't do that!" or "You won't get around" or "You'll get problems"

They give energy to the little devil in me..

So you don't think I can? You don't believe in me?

You just watch me!

I'll show you!

Will Svanberg do another cut?

It's going to be interesting to see what BP and Svanberg is going to do about the oil catastrophe. Svanberg usually let people go in order to raise the stock and to look good. As he did before he left Ericsson with his shares. Don't think it will do the trick this time. Not initially. And empty talk about environment won't help him now....

The job hunting roller coaster

I'm not so fond of roller coasters. As matter of fact I think it's too much of excitement for me.

Now it feels like I'm going in one when I'm trying to get a job.
Oh, first I believe there is an opportunity for me. I believe I'm going to get the job.
But every time I get disappointed. So far...

Some time I ago I decided not to care, not to take it so seriously, but that was a mistake. Then I didn't try my best.

Now I keep taking trips in that roller coaster. YES, I've got a chance here. NO, I did not make it.
Well, that's life. I shouldn't complain as long as it's not boring.. and as long as I'm not starving.. should I?

I'm looking for female managers, because I need a woman to hire me! Men won't...

I'm a woman who has been working in a male environment. Now I apply for jobs in the same environment, and I've done it before. Looking back I remember what my findings were last time I was looking for a job many years ago. My conclusion back then was that women want to hire me, but men don't!

Women tend to understand that I'm not into bragging, simply because women typically don't brag. They understand that I'm an intelligent person who is ambitious and can learn new things. They can relate to themselves, since they were also ambitious already at school, and they also have difficulties to brag. It seems they see beyond the words.

The managers are often men. They look for specific experiences both when it comes to specific technologies and specific roles. They expect people to brag and even lie to convince them. I'm a woman. I'm open. I'm not bragging and I would never tell a lie. It seems even when I have the relevant experience, men don't see that even when I try to tell them. And if don't convince them I don't get the job.

I need to look for female managers, because I need a woman to hire me!

Theories don't make me feel 100% safe

I was traveling with a low cost airline company. The rain was pouring down and there were lightening even before start.
The route seemed to be right through the worst thundercloud. It was all dark and I saw lightening through the window.
I guess it's almost an everyday scenario for a pilot, but definitely isn't for me.

I know all that with the Faradays cage theory, but still, in reality, couldn't it do some damage..??

Sometimes I hate Facebook!

Facebook is where I communicate with some of my friends. Or I see what they are up to and they keep track of what I'm doing.

BUT...

You have to be mature enough to never be jealous. Never! If you have some experience of life you know that being in a place that looks like paradise can be terrible and luxuries can be boring with the wrong company. What I'm saying is that if you don't know the full story, there is no need to be jealous. But isn't there always something that you're missing or dream about. Something you would like to do. Places you would like to see. People you would like to meet. Can you face that your friends or acquaintances have that opportunity and you don't? If you believe that you will get that opportunity some other time, or if you are happy with whatever you have, or if you're simply happy for your friends, then it's perfectly OK. If you're not, then you're in trouble.

Some people just poke around, watch and read, but never share anything themselves. How are they thinking? "I'm not into sharing, but of course I'd like to keep myself updated on what other's do". Some people share pictures of their uninteresting private stuff all the time. "I'm walking the dog" and a picture of the dog is an example of something I find uninteresting. But I must admit that I sometimes share totally uninteresting things too. If many people are watching, maybe there is at least one person who finds it interesting...besides nothing interesting happens to me for the moment, so the alternative is to be quite.

I could write an essay about people's comments. If you get a comment from someone who normally don't comment on your stuff, then you know that you have found some common interest. That's pretty cool. But some people have the habit of commenting on everything everywhere all the time. If the comment adds value or is funny then it's normally appreciated, but if it doesn't.... Especially not if other peoples comments are drowning in them!! Why have a discussion in public maybe in front of hundreds of people, instead of having a privately conversation via mail? To misunderstand each other is easily done. Or to insult someone by mistake. With all those people watching..

Well, today I've had too few contacts with other people. Maybe I should check what people on Facebook are up to?

Pathetic

To watch TV Friday and Saturday nights and complain on a blog is really pathetic, isn't it?
It seems I've run out of subjects to write about.

To insult innocent people is comme-if-faut on Swedish TV

The presenter of Let's Dance asked a sexty-year-old man, a participant from an earlier year, if he had taken a bank-loan and fixed up his old wife (who wasn't present). I feel sorry for her, and I don't think it's funny at all.

Stand-up-comedians, that's one thing. They are supposed to make jokes about everything, including famous people, but does everyone have to be rude in every TV show? It's tasteless!

Another example is from this years "melodi festival" where the presenter was making comments about a famous couple's marriage. A couple that had nothing to do with the show!

What is the message to kids and young people? Try to be as rude as you can, all the time! If the target is an old woman you can always make a joke about her looks. That's always very appreciated and funny ?!?

These TV presenters come from a group that have been doing a lot of travesty on the royal family. I believe most people thought that was funny because you're supposed to be respectfull towards them. But it seems they never stop doing it. They had to mention the latest personal very insulting gossip about the Swedish Queen on the Let's dance show. Not funny!

Respect, what is that?
You guys who insult innocent people on TV, I don't like you, I don't respect you, I don't think you're funny! Go back to your insulting shows where you do nothing else. We don't want to see you all the time, everywhere!

I do hope they exchange you or the script writer soon, and hire some people who has some human feelings and show a bit of respect to other people! There are such people.. for instance the presenter from Idol. He added a human touch to the Swedish Idol show! I don't think he insulted anyone, and he always showed compassion with the one who had to leave the show. I don't ask you to learn from him, just quit please! Get off the screen!

I picked the winner this year too!

I picked the winner the FIRST TIME I HEARD HER!

Anna is the best, I wrote...

Good luck to new star with a great voice, my blog...

I picked Malena as the winner last year too, the first time I heard her!

Isn't there a job I can get to pick out winning artists and songs???

My only issue is that I don't really believe in my own ideas and feelings.. Below I thought a sticky song would win...instead of the one that made me shiver. It seems other people must feel something too when I shiver.

Time for the contest where ABBA first made a break through

The Swedish Melodyfestival has some traditions, because it was in this contest where ABBA won 1974 with Waterloo. My private tradition has been to follow the contest during the years, and of course also the European Song Contest (as the European final is called).

Who can forget all the French and English ballads? For instance "Comme la vie, les yeux de lumiere" or whatever we girls were singing for months.

I remember when Waterloo was first played on TV and my dad pointed ABBA out as winners. When he likes a piece of music the hair raise on his head hihi.. I've got long hair..

Nowadays they play all the songs both on radio and TV just as they like, which makes it into a completely different competition.

Here are the results from my private jury. I've just got two groups, OK and not OK.

OK:

Jessica. A ballad that made me feel a bit of shivering.

Al Fakir. This song sticks like none of the others. This time I felt something too. Looks like a strong candidate to become a winner. Can't say I like him though..

My favorite is still Anna Bergendal. Her song and the way she sings it makes me shiver from start. Maybe her performance wasn't absolutely perfect. She doesn't seem like a pro yet, but she'll be back.

I like Darin (although my kids dislike him. This guy has got talent and feeling, which comes through, but I think the song was too boring)

Not OK. I didn't feel anything when I listened to the songs performed by these singers:

Pernilla. Her song is boring and too familiar and I personally I don't like her because she doesn't seem to have any integrity. Give other singers the chance!

A Johnson. Isn't there a maximum number of times a person can participate in this contest?, Give others the chance! (No, I don't find him sexy although he behaves as if he was the most sexy guy on earth)

Timotej. A very nice group of sweet young girls. But the song.... it feels like I have heard it too many times already. Logically, they could have a chance in Europe because they look good, but I don't feel anything at all.

Peter J. He is a great singer, and the song is great too, but I don't feel anything. He is very professional, but I don't understand what's wrong.

Ola. His song is OK, and I really like the piano part, and he makes a good impression, and the melody has become popular on the radio, but no feeling here.

Saade, The song was OK, but a bit boring soundwise. Standard.

Well, let's see what the rest of the audience think. When listening to last years European winner, I didn't shiver either :(

By the way, to allow a B-actor (or rather C-actor) to promote his participation in a movie in the show is NOT OK. Besides, someone should tell him to only sing in the shower...

Who the hell taught my kids to discuss and argue?

I liked to discuss politics when I was young. When I discussed with my parents I sometimes found them old fashioned and having a lot prejudices.

Now my kids discuss things like politics and religion with me. They have studied all kinds of theories at school. Nowadays they learn a lot but they think they know everything. Just like I did too once upon a time.

When I say "this is my opinion based on my experience" they tell me I'm wrong! When I bring up examples from the real world based on my or other people's experience they tell me I have prejudices! It was much more fun to be young and live in an ideal world than being grown up and be accused of being narrow minded. If we managed to combine their theories with my experiences we would probably come closer to the reality. Sometimes the kids tell me new things I didn't already know, but they have for sure stopped accepting anything I tell them.

Guess it is evolution. I just want to know; who the hell taught them to argue?

They danced again..

The only thing that counts in TV competitions like "let's dance" is personal charisma. It's not just the charisma of the famous pupil, but also the charisma of the teacher. Some of the participants, even the professional dancers, seem to think the result has to do with dancing technique...! The charisma would also explain why there is often the same professional dancers in the semifinal and the final every year. It's not just that they make good choreography and can teach dancing efficiently, the charisma makes the difference!

Tonight it was interesting to note (according to my conspirator theory) how the show were trying their best to make the actress look bad. They were mentioning famous relatives and insulted her mother and so forth. Do you understand why they would do that? Maybe she doesn't have rich sponsors as the singers must have?! Well, I'm glad that strategy wasn't successful!

How TV4 is influencing the audience in the voting competitions

I'm watching the dance show competition in TV4 every week. Don't know why, because I don't like the presenters much, and the jury is quite predictable as well as the voting results. But I just like to see when they dance. It makes me want to dance too.

What makes me a bit annoyed is how TV4 seems to do their best to influence the results in all voting competitions. I get the impression that they want to decide who should end up in the final.

One way of getting rid of the feminist the other week was to tell the audience to follow the former preminister and vote for her. The former preminister is absolutely not popular and that comment made her look like she was part of the establishment. Smart, since her voters typically don't like the establishment.

This week it was obvious that TV4 wanted the young upcoming singer to stay in the contest. To avoid having him to leave the show (which was expected), they gave him the most sexy dance they could find, as some sort extra dance. They rather wanted to keep him than the middle aged man who happens to be a brilliant dancer. Guess they bring in more money on commercials that way. And maybe it wasn't so smart of the middle age man to do commercials for the company that delivers the video service to a competiting channel. Who knows?

The young girl who for some reason can't wear high heels as the other women do, gets the best music and the best dances. She is very sweet. The old carpetenter who hardly can dance at all is funny, but... Well, I guess they make it a good show.

I've noted that some of the participants get a lot of compliments on their bodies. Why? It's not a beauty contest is it? It seems those comments give them votes.

In Idol, it's obvious that when they bring in family members of the competitors in the show, the general impression and the votings typically change. Immigrants tend to loose votes at that point. Guys with single mothers never seem to win Idol, but I don't know if that's a rule or just a coincidence.

Let's see what spicy details the TV4 management want to dig up to influence the rest of the "Let's dance" competition...

Or maybe I should skip watching and go dancing instead? I actually joined a workout dance class this week.. Much more fun than watching dance on TV.

Good luck to a new star with a great voice!

Well, I'm happy Anna Bergendahl won.



I hope she makes it to the European final.
And I hope Pernilla really breakes a leg!

The pro's are boring!

Pernilla Wahlgren and Peter Jöback are both old professional singers. But in this weekly song contest "Melodifestivalen" you have to make the audience feel something - at once.

The young singer Anna Bergendahl was absolutely the best one. She made me shiver. She was georgious. Hope she beats Pernilla. Pernilla is middleaged and she has dominated the musical scenes in Stockholm for the last thirty years or so. It's enough now...

I'm sure the audience out in the country vote on their old stars. But on the other hand, they like "dans-band", the music that typically is played at large local fairs and that people dans foxtrot and bugg/jive to. What can you expect?

Or as the kids say, the result is decided by the record companies. Let's hope Anna has got a record company that will pay for some votes for her...

Financial analysts take a short-term view when they demand industries to move to low cost countries

Why isn't it investigated if there is a competing company dominating in the same area or town when sensitive development are moved to low cost countries? Why isn't anyone looking into how resources are shared between companies via consultancy companies? And how the culture in the country is, if local students are more likely to be loyal to their friends than to a forreign company?

It seems it's only the hourly rate that is considered when moving research and development to low cost countries. It seems the financial market only think there is a price war. Have they heard about competing using features and functionality, industry knowledge and even quality? If a company don't have such a competitive advantage in their offer, then it's only a price war!

It is wellknown that competition is good for an industry when two companies are on the same level and located geographically close. They become more aware of the competition and can more quickly follow, adapt and surpass each other. It is similar to the evolution of the academic world. Since different Universities share results from research, they can copy each other, verify, complement and superseed each other. That's evolution!

In the industry such competition and drain of knowledge is of course not favourable to the leading company. Especially in industries where the income from patents are a valuable source of income, and where innovation is happening on top of the technical knowledge.

Now I think it's also interesting to note how experienced people who have been fired from the European company are being headhunted by the competing company's local organisation. All to secure as much of specialist competencies and competitive information as possible to be transfered to the low cost country (at least in the short time frame).

I find it amazing that the financial analysts who are demanding Euopean companies to fire people in Europe and move their development abroad don't consider and evaluate the risk of losing the competetive advantage. Products don't only have a price you know, they have a value too.... and that value can differ.

Stockholm traffic chaos or what happens if there is no plan B

This winter the snow clearance work has failed in Stockholm. The streets and the sidewalks have been so icy so lots of people have ended up in emergency care with fractures. Now the trains and the metro fail too which causes total chaos.

Why is it so? Stockholm has had snowy and cold weather many times (although not every winter). Normally it's only some local trains that don't run on time, because they were built in some warm country without the right winter requirements. Everybody knows that. But why did other things fail as well this year?

I believe it's because all the routines, all the requirements and plans could only handle a normal case. There are few or no routines for a slightly abnormal case. It seems nobody asked the questions "but what if it's not a normal case?"

I lady originating from southern Europe told me that the temperature is always around zero degrees when it's snowing. She had noted that during the few years she had been living in Stockholm. I didn't think it was a general rule, but I had problems to prove her to be wrong. Last year when our conversation took place her statement was true. It was only snowing when the temperature was around zero degrees. However, it has not been true this year.

Apparently the snow clearance people and the traffic planning people have only been planning for that normal mild weather case too.
The snow clearance people usually remove snow from streets and sidewalks in a rather careless way. They get away with it, because they use salt to melt away the rest of the snow. Usually the salt makes it look like an early spring with water pouring off the streets and the sidewalks a few days after a snowfall.

It seems the trains use another techniques. They add some electricity to melt away the snow from trails and switches with heat.
I usually use electricity and heat to get my car nice and warm too. By heating it up a few hours per day and by using heat on the windows when driving I usually keep my car fairly safe and comfortable even during the wintertime. Except this year. This year having the heat on made my car turn into an ice igloo.

It has been quite cold lately also when it has been snowing, it hasn't been around zero degrees, but much colder. So I've learned to avoid having the heat on the windows or use the windscreen wipers when driving in snowy weather. Since the snow is so cold and light it has been blowing away by the wind when driving.

The salt that was added to the sidewalks just made them icy, since the weather turned cold instead of warm afterwards. The electricity that has been added to the trails just made them covered with ice, instead of making them cleaned from snow.

The conclusion is that they need to have some routines for a plan B too. When the weather isn't going to be warm, salt should be avoided on the streets, and the snow have to be removed properly and not in a careless way (instead of relying on melting it away with salt).
When it's too cold, maybe electricity and heat shouldn't be used to get the snow off the trials, but maybe the snow needs to be blown away instead. It's all about having the right requirements and the right routines for the abnormal case too. To avoid the chaos we see in Stockholm today...