I doubt the spooky... except dreams

I've never met anyone "spooky". Not even anyone who claims to see into the future. I happen to be a very suspicious person, that looks for explanations. But people I know have met "spooky" persons. Good for them.
I would like to meet someone who can convince me, that something like that is for real. Would be interesting.

The flu might not be a good laugh

Some people mock me because I'm afraid of the swineflu. I don't care about the statistics. Most people don't care about statistical possibilities, otherwise their wouldn't exist any lotteries.
I've got asthma and normally not full lung capacity. My understanding is that the medicine most asthma patients have to take reduces the power of resistance, since it stops our stupid bodies from fighting innocent things instead of waiting for real virus and bacteria. I'll check with the doctors!
Laughing? Well go ahead, I don't care...

The young perspective

My daughter believes that everybody else are happy. I guess that's what you think when you are a teenager.
Please show me someone who hasn't got any problems and is totally happy..
One?

Under the surface

Let's say that you have got cancer, and you get some nasty treatment. That's tough. Imagine that you get lots and lots of nasty treatment, that is very very tough.

Let's say that they try different kind of treatment to control the cancer. Let's say that you have got a terrible pain. Imagine the anguish and fear too much pain gives. Now imagine that you also have a beloved kid, that you think about.

I know a person in such a situation. A personal blog gives the means to regularly communicate the current health situation. It is written in a positive or neutral tone, in order not to increase the readers' worry.

The blog is written about general subjects using a good language, with an edge and a sense of humor. When there is an opportunity, at times with less pain but at the hospital, the latest health care proposal is for instance being reviewed, in order to give some very relevant comments on the blog.

They say that it is how you handle the things that happens to you that makes the difference. I do agree. I knew this person is intelligent, providing an analysis and an interesting discussion on job related things, but I had no idea there could be so much human strength under the surface.

Do you want to feel young?

Just now I've got my office in my kitchen. An office needs a printer. Having a printer on the table or by the toaster didn't seem like a good idea, so it is placed under the table. Whenever there is any trouble and an error message is shown on the display I have to sit under the table, with a lamp to be able to see. It gave me such a flashback to my childhood when we used to make a little house under a table. Do you remember how much fun it was? (Please don't misunderstanding this, I'm NOT playing under my kitchen table, I just remembered how fun it was when being a small kid.)

Some days ago I was walking in the city late in the evening together with a girl friend. We saw this almost empty outdoor dance floor where an middle age DJ was playing old disco hits. There was only a group of tourists hiding under a shelter listening, since it was a bit rainy. I couldn't resist the opportunity to dance, so we joined the dance. Soon after, the floor was crowded with people who were dancing like crazy in the rain. An unusual mix of foreign, Swedish, old and young people simply enjoying themselves. At that moment I felt more like a teenager rather than a middle age woman in a rain jacket.

Sometimes when I run my bike, play music loud or make my kids laugh I don't feel old.

I remember the speech that Brook Shields gave at the (criticized TV-) memorial ceremony of Michael Jackson where she talked about how childish they were, because they had not been able to play as kids since they were artist then. That was quite understandable to me.

Maybe also especially well behaved kids who always made our homework, have an extra need to feel childish as grown ups? Or maybe that's just a very typical feeling, when we realize that we aren't young any longer and we actually miss it?
One word: MIDDLE-AGED!!!

Why don't kids like modern art?

My son had been visiting some exhibition of modern art with his school. He told me in confidence that he thought modern art was crap, nonsense and absolutely pointless. He found some of the pieces especially irritating; someone had pulled together some metal things from lamps and someone else had been recorded how she was walked around in an apartment and proposing improvements.

I tried to find out what the real problem was. It turned out that first of all they had been forced to stand up listen to someone talking and explaining the objects and secondly he didn't like the naming of this crap for "art". When I have been traveling with my kids, we have been joining guided tours and exhibitions of historical places and museums and it hasn't been any problem to stand up and listen, even at traditional museums. But their resistance towards modern art has been compact. I remember standing in the entrance hall of Tate Modern, and not being able to convince them to enter the exhibitions. Just because they had been visiting modern art exhibitions with the school and they had hated every second of it.

Why do schools take kids to modern exhibitions when the museums apparently make it into such a boring experience? Why do they have to make it so pretentious? "This is fine modern art and I shall now explain the meaning of it for those of you who doesn't understand it". Who likes to feel like an idiot?

I must admit that I would probably share my kids opinion about some of the objects, but I wouldn't be annoyed if I didn't like or understand it. I thought that the possibility to have the freedom to create things as they like what appeal to young people, especially since they watch crazy things on YouTube and laugh at all kinds of nonsense people put up there. The more pointless and stupid the more popular it seems.

I tried to explain to my son that maybe the artist just wanted to make you feel, think or react in some way? Just like some music or some YouTube video does? "But why it is called art" was his question. Well, I agree, why not rename it do "crazy nonsense" and encourage young people think whatever they like about it? I'm sure it would make it much more popular. Or put the stuff on YouTube and let the creator explain it. It would get them instant feedback!

There is no such thing as privacy in a job interview

Today I've got some insights into a recruiter's world. Interesting indeed. Did you know that a recruiter in Sweden can ask about anything but three things; which God you believe in, your sexual preferences and your political views? They are allowed to ask about anything else in the world.

What job your husband has, in which golf club you are a member or what education your parents have, are all relevant questions for a head hunter or a recruiter. I would like to know how those things can make a difference when employing someone (assuming that the job doesn't involve either your husband or your parents and has nothing to do with golf). But it seems information about your parents' education can be useful for a recruiter in order to understand your personal drivers, if you have followed in your parents' footsteps or not. Your sport membership and golf-skills might make it easier for you to fit into a group where everyone plays golf. Your husband's job can apparently be a problem if he is working for a competitor.

I am amazed. I thought there would be enough stuff for recruiters to dig into when it comes to a person's work experience and personality, so they didn't need to go into completely private areas. But since I need a job I will be prepared to answer almost ANY question with a smile (and not show the recruiter that I think he should mind his own business...). Well, that's good to know.

Maybe I should call it simplifications...

Maybe it's time to stop writing such a childish blog that simplies things, from politics to some private thoughts and indicents. On the other hand, you don't need to read it...

Looks and falling in love

People claim that the looks is an important factor when we fall in love. But still most people are married to someone who isn't beautiful and hardly would become a model. There must be something else that determines with whom we fall in love, if the looks are as important as people say.

Have you heard about something called marital likeness? When I've been sitting and waiting for someone and just looking at strangers passing by, I have noticed that many couples with kids have similar face details, as if they were brothers and sisters and not couples!

Maybe it is easier to fall in love with someone if he or she feels familiar, and has some resemblance with a family member or a dear friend or some famous person or even a previous partner.

How else can we explain the completely different tastes when it comes to looks?

(I'm curious. I would like to know...)

I think people mix things up when it comes to love

Why is it so that people tend to bragg? Does it make other people love them more?

Do women love men because they are successful?

Why do people talk about how wealthy they are? Do they want to attract others who wish to share their money? Or do women dream about luxury and hope for a man to bring us that?

Why do guys show how strong they are? Do women want to feel that men can protect us and maybe dig us out of the masses from an earthquake with their bare hands?

A wealthy man probably thinks he can buy anything, including a woman. Are you for sale?

A strong man could probably hurt you really badly if he is violent. And he will take a lot of space.

A successful man will probably not settle for less than perfect. Do you feel like beauty surgery and dieting?

I think we love people when we realize that we can trust them and count on them.

I think we love people when we see that they are human, not perfect.

I think we love people when they see the good in us and make us feel loveable.

Things that make people happy should not cost a fortune

Most people have spent a fortune buying music on the form of records and CDs. Now a lot of it can be used for free. Those who has downloaded a lot can be happy, while others can use Spotify; a software that allows you to search and listen to a lot of music for free, if you put up with some annoying commercials every now and then (or pay to get rid of it).

I didn't buy much music when I was young. I love music, I played the piano and listened to the radio but I was boring enough to save my money for the future. I hated to be out of money and wanted to buy a house later on. Now I know that you may not be happy even if sitting in a really big house. But music can make people happy, at least for the moment.

Did you know that there is a site called blip.fm where you can share what other people (called DJs) recommend. It's like a music blog. Most of the music there is what's available on YouTube. Then you get some new influeces too. Especially if you know someone who is sharing music there as a DJ.

American emotions

I'm amazed. Just looked at some (old) final of "American inventors".

First the finalist enter the stage. The big question is "Do they cry?".

Then we look at a short summary. When and how did they cry in the earlier shows?

Then their families have been recorded when they couldn't hold back their tears. The finalists are not only great innovators, they are surprisingly also the most loving husbands or wifes and the best parents. Isn't that amazing?

Oh, then the finalists are so moved so they start crying again.

Their little inventions are now taken on by some large company. Everybody fall into each others arms. Crying.

Now the jury is crying too. The camera is making a closeup of one the jurymembers using her handkerchief.

I guess the audience must be crying in front of their TVs now. ..

The funny thing is that these "American emotions", have the exported to Sweden. We have our national "Idol" where the families are filmed in the final, to make it more personal. So far I've not seen that they focus so much on tears and crying, though. But the love between the Idol winner and his fiancee was pretty exposed. Good TV is apparently to make people feel and preferable cry.

I'm wondering, if anyone has invented a separate channel with funerals only yet?

Some thoughts on leadership

Are you a leader or a follower? Do one have to be either a leader or a follower?

I can lead or I can follow, but I hate any form of dictatorship (at least when executed by others). Dictatorship in the small scale, can be to make a proposal, then take the same decision and not allow any other opinions.

I believe the best situation is when someone is making a proposal and someone else is approving it.

In a job situation, you expect managers to take decisions when you make a proposal. I used to have a manager who hardly took any decisions, never gave any feedback and couldn't manage any conflicts. Never answered mails. It was quite frustrating, especially since the manager acted as some sort of non functioning gateway to the rest of the world. It makes me think of the expression "sitting duck", or rather in this case "sit and duck".

Background

Maybe I should explain the background to my previous blog. There has been some incidents around the house recently, like a fire in the night from someone leaving barbecue coals under a tree and some other things that I had to take care about. Some reasons for behaving like a volontary guard.

When it comes to peeing on people houses, there are plenty of trees quite close to the house, so there is no need to use the house wall....

Brats and an old bitch

I've got something against brats.

They drive as if there were no kids playing and cycling in the streets since they don't to it anymore. Maybe they think all daycares have closed down and all small kids are gone since they left that age themselves..?

Last night when I was going to sleep there was a bunch of them outside. It was no problem until I heard some guys just under my window first checking each other's cloth brands, and then talking about peeing there. Then I got angry. I opened the window and informed them about the fact that I live there, in case they thought it was some kind of industry building or hotel or something. (I rememeber one of my sons friends had never been to an appartment before, he thought we were living in an hotel). I also asked where he was living, this peeing guy, if he had an outdoor toilet at home...

Then I asked for his name, and he thought that was really funny, he told me a name and said that if I called his mum, she would just laugh. I'm sure she would, and I had no plans to bother her.

At that time my children approached me, telling me I'm absolutely crazy, and I'm just going to make the problem worse.

In the morning I noticed that someone has been writing something on the house wall across the street. I'm happy they didn't do anything to my car, it would have made me absolutely furious! It seems these kids came from really wealthy places. Shouldn't they know how to behave?

This time I didn't have much clothes on so I stayed indoors. At other occasions I have approached and talked to some young people outside when I thought they were up to something. Afterwards I realized that I was alone and maybe it wasn't particularly smart, but it seems I'm not afraid when I'm angry.

My children are really ashamed of me. But how can I not say anything when some brat is peeing on my house or writing on the wall?

I've become an old bitch I guess..

The looser's club

I'm spoiled. If I attend a course I'm used to very professional teachers. Now I've been to some encouraging activity for unemployed people. I secretly call it "the looser's club". The teachers were very kind indeed, but their knowledge came directly out of a book. They stated in a very soft and friendly voice that "there is no right or wrong way". I think there is!

I looked carefully at that little group of loosers and I was thinking "Why haven't these people already a job?"

One guy was fat. If you're fat and look lazy you definitely have a problem. Especially if you also look like you drink too much. I thought "Wouldn't it be a good idea to tell him to do something about his habits and his look...?" (Suddenly I was very determined to be very healthy myself)

One of the women was also fat and maybe a bit ugly. She was really sweet, and I believe she could do a lot of good things, but she didn't have any education at all, and I suspect the fatness was because of some drugs against some depression or something like that. Poor thing. I think she could do a terrific customer support (on the phone) instead of applying for job as a receptionist! (Hope I'm not applying for the wrong jobs...)

Then there was a man who already knew everything. He just needed to practise his perfect speach. He seemed very competent, but since he was so careful with how he choose his words, I felt he didn't come across as honest. (Btw I also know "everything", don't I?)

Then there were two nice young and goodlooking girls. It is striking to me that among all those guys and elderly women that have been fired (out of a large group), there is also a bunch of very young good looking girls. It makes me curious. How come they have been fired from large companies dominated by men? Were they too goodlooking or had they all of them got the wrong jobs?
Anyway, the women in this particular group (I shouldn't call them girls just because they were under thirty..) were very determined about what they wanted to do, and it seems they had the right education too. It would surprise me if they would have any problems to get a new job.

Then there was a woman with no education who was pretty cheerful, but above forty. She compained that she never even made it to the inteview (it seems most of them didn't). I believe it must be much easier to be a cheerful woman and get a job while being young. I suggested she would take a nice picture to send together with her application, so people would get an idea of what she looked like, since she didn't look old.

Then there was a guy who was specialized in his area, with a relevant education. He said that he suffered from some disease that made employers back off. How unfair. (Should I lie about my asthma to get a job??)

I was also there, and I had problems to make a presentation about myself as short as 3 minutes. I learned, by accident (not by the teachers), that I don't convince anyone about anything when I speak about things related to anything I don't feel well about. Good to know.

Summary: I need to be slim and young, and have the right education and the right feelings too.

Just thinking about who rules and how

It seems everything concerns the largest market in the world these days. On one hand, everyone wants to get access to that market, since it provides a huge growth potential. It makes it possible for them to dictate all kinds of conditions.

One the other hand, the large economy is dependant on importing raw materials. So they are investing in areas with rich supply of raw material such as Africa. It seems they use an old classical technique, since they send criminals there.

So colonisation is happening again, the problem is that is it not a democracy and they are not used to follow the economical principals of supply and demand.
Lately it seems (according to the news papers) they put people from forreign countries in jail when they don't get the prices they want, or when they are stopped from taking control of a companies.

The conclusion is that they can do whatever they want. Nobody dares to say anything, not even our governments, since everyone is afraid to loose business. You have to take that into consideration if you are working in a company having industry or business there. All companies, basically.
Don't get enemies, don't question things, don't dig into things, for your own good. It's the reality no matter what democratic country you happen to come from..

Employment protection laws

In Sweden, people and their experience aren't considered worth much. Some large Swedish companies believe that their workforce is too old. They want young people with a fresh education (and lower expectation on salary). The more inexperienced manager the younger employees.... But in Sweden there is an unpopulair law called LAS, the employment protection law. It means that when a company needs to reduce the number of employees, it has to follow the "first in last out" principal for people with exactly the same competence.


Instead of following the law, the large corporations tend to make an agreement with the union to fire or keep anyone as they like but instead of a job give the fired personnel extra payment. Fair enough.


There is a constant discussion in media what a problem the LAS law is and how difficult it is for young people to get a job these days, so I guess it it just a matter of time before it is being changed. I need to defend that law in discussions with almost everone, everywhere even at home...since they children have learnt at school how inflexible the law is. Now I believe that most people who has been working for many years have a lot of valuable experience, that smart companies would take care of and use in the most benefitial way. But on the other hand, in Sweden it is quite easy to throw out your mate when you're tired of her/him, then why should it be so difficult to replace an old secretary with a younger one...for example.

In China, my understanding is that some companies fire their personnel just before they have been working in the company for 10 years, and then re-employ some of them with a new and possibly lower salary, in order to get around the Chinese law if employment protection.


It is not only due to the financial crises people are fired in Sweden, but due to the high costs for employees, with about 30% (or more) in tax for the employer. Then the employees will have to pay another 30-50% tax on their income.


In Canada, they have decided to lower the tax for companies investing in the country. So jobs are now being moved from Sweden, not only to traditional low cost countries like India and China, but also to Canada! Another way for Swedish companies to lower the cost, could be to buy similar Canadian companies, just to be able to fire another bunch of expensive Swedes. I don't know..

Me = Age, length and weight?

Sweden is a age focused country. There are databases where unemployed should put their CVs. Guess what are the "keys" that people can search for? Well, one of them is age.. Why? Was it made by the same designers as the dating sites?
By the way, people are length focused as well. I've tried some dating sites during the years, and from the answers I've got it seems the length information and a photo is the most important information, since there is no weight parameter yet.. it seems text is just extra, good to have..

Did people predict the crises in the world economy?

About ten years ago, I discussed economy with a real estate agent. I was considering to buy a more expensive apartment and was trying to estimate the risk. How large was the risk that the cost would increase and my income would decrease? The real estate agent was helpful by telling me that the large fluctuations in the world economy are recurrent and periodic. He told me it was very likely that the world economy would have a crisis around 2010.

I still don't know what kind of theory he was basing that prediction on, but at that point I believed he might be true. I did not buy the large apartment. I have regretted that many times, but today I do not regret it. I am still curious about the periodicity in the world economy.

A lesson about cultures

Whenever I have the opportunity to visit another country, I try to check out as much as I can. Not only the well-known places, but also if possible figure out how ordinary people live and the difference between cultures. I guess most people find that interesting.

If you ever go to Beijing I can recommend a certain tour where you have a guide for a small group of people (like my little family when we were there on vacation), going in a bike-taxi, guidence through some historical places, visit a family in one of the old small houses and also have a traditional tea session. I would say it was worth the money, the guide spoke very good english, answered any questions we had and my children seem to remember every word he said.

Once when I was going on a business trip to China, there was some an industry fair in the particular town I was visiting, so the hotels were expensive and fully booked. I booked the same hotel as a collegue which turned out to be a bit different, at least according to European standards. They had for instance a zoo partly inside of the hotel.

I ended up lonely in this hotel. Since I'm curious, I checked out everything, like what services they offered etc. In the basement they had some sort of sauna department where I noted that they had some suspicious expensive foot massage. Anyway I took a pedicyre which was of course much cheaper...

The next day at the office on our way back from lunch in the elevator I was asked what I had been doing so far. I explained that I had been walking in the city, eaten some everyday chinese food that looke like small birds (I didn't eat that). I also talked about the hotel with a zoo in it, and said that I have had some sort of foot.... massage. I didn't find the right word, in Swedish we normally use the expression "foot treatment" instead of pedicyre and maybe I was also trying to be a bit funny. But before I had the chance to correct myself and explain, the other European in the elevator gave me a bit sarcastic comment and quickly changed the subject. I felt increadible stupid. What should I do? Should I interrupt and explained the mistake as if I didn't think they understood that by themselves? I did nothing, since they were very busy discussing something work related.

Later a female collegue asked me if I really had had foot massage, and I said "of course not" and we talked about different kinds of massage and compared the different cultures (as we did with several other subjects too).

Do you think that episode gave me some kind of funny or rather bad reputation? I'm not sure..

Next time I talk to people with another culture I will pay special attention to every word I say and rather be silent than try to be funny!

Can't complain

Taboo: For the moment I'm enjoying myself, even if I'm unemployed and the future is somewhat unsecure.

First. I've decided not to worry. I've decided that I will get a much better job, where people treat me well!

The sun is shining. It's dark and cold most of the year in this country, so it feels like luxury to be able to enjoy the summer. The Swedish tradition is to enjoy the summer in a cottage sometimes without heat, water and WC. I'm at home and enjoying warm water, shower, bathtube, broadband but also closeness to the nature and the water.

I've got time. For the moment I am using this extra time to do workout, bike and swim. Who can feel low when doing that in the morning or late in the afternoon?

I've got time to keep myself updated by reading online papers. Normally I just scan through the morning paper.

I've got a few good friends. Not a large crowd but quantity is not always quality and I look forward to get to know some new people when I get a new job. (please note "when", not "if"!).

I'm not spending money, ie not shopping or travelling but my wardrobe isn't empty, and hopefully I can show my children a bit of the rest of the world some other time.

A lot of things are for free. The latest thing I've discovered is Spotify (I've never pretended to be an early adopter). Finding music I've not listen to since 1985 makes me feel about 25 years younger.

Today I'm not complaining. It seems I'm pretty lucky after all. At least in the short perspective, but who knows anything about the long perspective...?

Do people lack compassion and common sense?

From a macro perspective it can probably be defended to participate in some war activities. But from a micro perspective, the human perspective, how can it ever be allowed?

Innocent people are always injured and killed in a war, and children too. Unless you believe in reincarnation, how can anyone have the right to decide on such things?

To prevent war is necessary, but participate in a war in some forreign country, how can that ever be the right thing to do?

The bloggers' excuse

I'm sorry for my increadible bad English.

Still curious

Interesting. My question below happened to be answered in SvD by a professor who quoted the minister of defense, so I guess it is correct... There were at least five different reasons; the safety of the local people, the safety of Sweden, to stop the opium business, democracy, equal treatment of men and women.

If someone gives me 5 reasons in my private life, I doubt that the person is telling the truth. If I invite you to dinner and you give me five reason why you can't make it, I will assume you don't want to come (which you wouldn't tell me would you).

Information from different angles

Why is Sweden fighting in a forreign country? Has anyone got an answer?

In order to update myself on the history of that country I checked wikipedia. I know the information on wikipedia can not be trusted, but what information can be trusted?? Anyway it was a bit interesting to see that the information on the Swedish version was shorter, but also a bit different from the one on the English speaking site. Not much different but slightly. Check for yourself if you're curious. I'm pretty sure the information and the angles are different in the news too ..

A health gift?

Maybe being fired was a gift. A health gift. (Not sure yet if it was an economical gift or a catastrophy...) Anyway, I was living a pretty unhealthy life. Only focusing on work, jumping on kamikaze jobs, spending time thinking why people behaved as they did, trying too much with everything, sleeping too little, not taking enough time to sport, eating whatever the kids liked to eat, not spending enough time doing things I like.

Today I am healthier, because I have got the time and maybe because someone challenged me. Don't know about tomorrow. To change lifestyle sounds pretentious and increadible boring to me, like moving to another planet where there is no sweets and cookies. I've no such plans, since I like cookies.

Mondays

I tend to like Mondays, I've done that both at school and at work. It is the start of something new, even if it is hard to get out of bed in the morning. If you have nice collegues it's nice to meet them again, and you might have forgotten whatever reason you were fed up with them or something else last week. Compare it to Thursdays, with lots of things that needs to be done before the weekend, and you might stay up late another evening working, starting to get really tired. But I've read somewhere that you should try avoiding having a surgery done on a Monday, because it is more likely that the doctor makes a mistake. I guess most people are tired on Mondays, so watch your step..

"Sommar" and lack of driver

Got some inspiration today from the radio. During the summer there is always a radioshow where one individual is talking for one and a half hour and playing whatever music he or she wants. I don't listen every day, but some days. I think it is the best program. All depending on the person talking, but there has been so many interesting persons explaining their view on things during the years. The advantage with those shows is that you get some sort of real personal story, instead of what is being presented in the newspapers.

Today it was Anders Wall, on elderly extremely successful business man and entrepreneur. He explained that he (apart from being very businessminded) and he was always curious and one of his talents was to get to know people. If I understood it correctly one of his early drivers was to show people (I guess that they were wrong about him), a bit of revenge-thinking.

That used to be my driver too. To show people they were all wrong when they underestimated me. But for the moment I think anyone who has ever complained about me has got a point. What kind of driver is that..? I belive it is called lack of self confidence. I'm sure those sucessful people like Anders Wall never had that.

Studying the human behavour

I know I should forget. I should forget that I knew what was going on just by looking at certain people and how they behaved. People who looked the other way instead of into my eyes. Just by looking at them I knew exactly when certain decisions were taken. It was pretty awful.

Isn't it funny how people treat you differently depending on what position you have? You realize the difference if you go from a position where you have some influence to a position where you have nothing to say. Some people don't even make the little effort to smile to you, and managers feel threatened and wants you to "know your place", to be quite and not speak up.

When you go the other way, to a better position, you will be surprised how many people that smile and talk to you in the elevator or in the corridor. You might think that they are happy to see you or happy for you sake, at least that's what I did..

But then when you're on your way out, it's all different. I remember some people who came into the elevator where I was standing. I knew it might be the last time I saw them so I looked at them ready to say something, but it seems they didn't see me although I was standing less than a meter away. I said "bye" when they left, but I don't know if they heard. I had known them for many years. What's the point of hugging people goodbye that don't see you?

A few people are professional, since they expect to meet me again soon in some other role. That's kind of encouraging.

While others who are good friends really want to support me, although they have nothing to gain apart from my gratitude and my friendship. Maybe I should remember those and forget about the rest.