To read minds or be explicit

Have you even thought about how often you have implicit expectations? You might be irritated, annoyed or disappointed about something which actually never has been clearly communicated? Sometimes we tend to expect things from people and then get disappointed when they don't act as we expect them to.

To some people, with a completely different orientation, only the things that have been communicated exist. Everything else is just fantasies. According to the my experience the latter attitude is more common among men than among women, but I admit it is a generalisation.

Since I am aware of that some people don't "read minds", "guess what other wants" to the extent that you might expect them too (especially if you are brough up having developed that skill yourself with some people to whom you are close), I am trying to be clear and speak my mind.

Still, I've realized that I get seriously disappointed in people, while I'm not sure they really understoond what I wanted or how important things were to me. So, my new approach is to clearly communicate and tell people what I would like to have or do. For instance asking a friend "when can I come and see you" instead of being sorrow for not being invited. I tried that at work too, but it didn't work very well. What I wanted was of course totally irrelevant a work! But for friends and family it might be...

I remember my father in law, he always called before birthdays asking "when can I be there"? He didn't sit and wait for any invitation. I think that was great. He was always there and celebrated, on the right day, with his personal presents. That's the way to go!