As a parent you may try to steer your children into becoming something you want them to be. The most effective but not the recommended way to steer is to only give your love when they behave as you want. Whatever philosophy or way you may use when you try to raise your children, it definitely has to stop when they are grown up.
My firm believe is that everyone has to live her own life. If the raising and the steering from parents continues, then they try to live your life which isn't fair, they have had their own life with their own choices to make.
If you as a grown up feel that you have to behave, to perform and do certain things in order to receive your parents love, then it is not parental love you receive. Parents should love their children whatever happens. From your birth and on.. If they don't, they should try to accpet themselves and the fact that neither they nor their children are perfect.
