First let's define the word. I define dating as getting to know individuals with the purpose of finding if you fall in love and possibly would become a happy couple. In my case it's all about sending a few mails, go out, having coffee together and chat on the phone. I know others who include having sex, but I define that as having an affair or having a relation, not dating!
Let's generalize. Singles aren't happy people who are enjoying life as you may think, I believe they are more like ghosts who can't get rest. Why they can't get rest and get settled? It varies. Sometimes, they got some heavy stuff in their baggage. Either their mum or dad have treated them badly, or other people were mean when they grew up. They claim "I can't find the right person", but in many cases it's more about finding themselves.
Well, of course it's also about matching. Most of the time, people have very high requirements. Online dating doesn't make it easier. They see beautiful pictures of all the "available" people. They believe the pictures show the truth and don't realize that it is like looking at ads for a house; the pictures might be taken from the best angle and the text might be wishful thinking, dreams or plain marketing. What they don't realize is that all these people are not for them. Everybody has to find someone who matches him. Everybody has to find someone who matches both when comes to brains and what the brain is filled of!
Men are very focused on bodies, mostly on women's bodies but sometimes also their own. The question is why. Didn't they find their last woman attractive, was that the issue? Or didn't the women they had like their bodies? If that's true, then everybody just have to become more focused on their looks! Sorry, but I don't believe that is the problem. It never was. But most people who wants to buy a new car, don't look for an ugly one. Wether it is because it makes them happy to have a nice car in the garage, to drive a nice car or if it just make themselves feel much better when people compliment them for their nice looking car, I don't know. A lot of nice looking cars are equipped with a powerful engine. However, it's not as simple when it comes to human beings, even if we tend to think in those terms. It's called the "halo effect", that we tend to believe that a person who has one skill also have another skill. For example we expect a nice looking person to be nicer than an ugly one. We expect a person who can express himself in writing also to be a person who is nice to talk to. We expect a person with nice manners also to have some intellect. We expect a person who is smart also to have some imagination. Just as examples. We fool ourselves!
I believe the problem is that we don't spend enough time together and that we don't care enough about each other. We get problems when we care more about our own needs than the needs of our mate, don't we? Rather focus on both needs...
We also want our lives to be perfect. Why not get a perfect woman to match your perfect home and your perfect car? Maybe because you aren't perfect yourself!
Let's just face it, nobody is perfect.
